I have been married for 6 months and my husband is refusing to add my name to his home. I feel scared about giving up my home and moving into his when he is refusing to add my name to the property. Help!

Good for you! You've recognized a significantly risky situation and don't want to get into it. And you've got a good solution: Don't give up your home until you have a solid agreement (contracts are your friend) about how your financial future will look. There are many aspects to it. A home is a really big one, so that's a great place to start.

My husband just told me that, if he were to put my name on the house, also, then there would be a financial incentive for divorce. I would become wealthy and he would become peniless...talk about drama!

This marriage seemed like a good idea at the time. I am going to begin moving my things back to my own home tomorrow. Thank you for your input.

(((((((((Lillac&Roses))))))))))

What are the issues fo reach of you? What are the specific results of the actions you want? What are the possible drawbacks?

I'm not sure what J's suggestion would look like but it seems to favor communication/negotiation over drama (moving out) or an ultimatum.


Editted to add:

What are the specific benifits/protections you are seeking?

What specific issues is he trying to address?

What issues might be inhibiting him from the various possible solutions?

Negotiation is an art, and as such care in creation tends to yield better, more satifying results.

All the best,
SB

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SeekingBetter,

What state do you live in that the paperwork tied to the house makes any difference? I think in most states it's divided equally regardless of who's name is on the loan - at least the portion of equity after you are married.

Moving out is overreacting in my opinion. If the above doesn't pan out in your state - Why not rent your house out and build your personal safety net that way?

It's not just about whose name is on the loan, Sleepy, it's about how the property is titled. And it *does* make a difference -- even in states that are community property.

I'm not sure you need to move out lilacesandroses but I agree not giving up your own home until you have this settled is a good idea.

This is why having these conversations (and contracts(!) as J says) before you get married is essential. If you and he want to protect yourselves then make an appointment with a lawyer (one who specializes in pre/post nuptials and who is not already representing either one of you) and get it sorted out and in writing -- legally.

Best to you,

P