oooww J..

my kids are 17, 19(20 next week), and 22 and I STILL remember that first day of kindergarten for each of them like it was yesterday..

I don't remember them not saying a word.. though I remember them coming home exhausted.

When I was teaching I did lunch duty 2 days a week and I notice that many kids do not eat their lunch during lunch cause they're too busy talking or staring or they're just not hungry at that time.

My suggestion is to let the first day pass with her thumbs down because of all the "newness" and I'm sure she was very taken aback by all the kids and their different behaviors as well as the teachers. If a week or two goes by and she's still sullen.. then I'd worry. Until then.. my guess is in the next day or two, she'll make a couple of friends, she'll get used to the routine and she'll be her happy, bright self again.

As for the papers.. what my exH and I did was fax any paperwork the kids brought home back and forth. Some of it .. when I filled it out and it asked for parents.. I listed both of us and our different addresses and phone numbers.. even if they didn't give room for it, I put it on the back.

When they brought home artwork or papers that they did that day we used to ask them which house do you want to keep this at.. if it was the other parents it got put into their backpacks the day they were going to the other parents house.

Its a pain in the butt, but we did it pretty well.

Loui

Late last night, my ex finally got DD to talk a little bit, after I provided a little insight from having spoken to one of the other moms in DD's class -- her daughter had said there were too many rules and that they had to listen to a lot of lecturing about the rules. She also said they didn't get to have very much fun, didn't go outside very much, and the boys weren't listening so everyone had to wait. And apparently there wasn't a snack.

So DD talked about some of the things that weren't working -- she didn't like the long line at lunch and didn't want to have to wait in it. She didn't like all the rules and having to try to remember them all. And there were a few other things.

Last night, too, she talked about being afraid that the monsters would get out of jail and that there would be a fire in the house. So there was a chat about those things, too.

And earlier in the evening, she'd had a migraine. Doesn't surprise me -- she often gets them when she's overtired and over-hungry. But if she gets one at school, there's currently no treatment plan in place, so we're scurrying to get the doctor's office to fax over the orders and I'll take Motrin in tomorrow morning.


This morning, my ex brought DD down to the bus stop in my neighborhood so she could take the bus for the first time. There was another new kindergartener at the stop, so we made a new friend. DD was bright and clean and cheerful, ready to try the whole thing again. It was really good to see -- she just went and hopped right on the bus as soon as it was there, like she'd done it every day of her life. Near as I can figure, they took good care of her on the bus.

My ex had to go by the school to find out about the process for getting meds into the shool, and ended up getting there just before DD's bus pulled in. So she hung back and watched the process. They got the kids off the bus fine, but didn't bother to direct them into the school. So DD ended up standing there looking a bit lost, and then finally saw my ex, who spoke to her a bit and then sent her into the school.

I just realized that it would be a good thing to actually tell the school about that. Don't really want the kindergarteners wandering around outside without direction, I don't think. But tomorrow, since I'll have to go drop off the Motrin, I'm going to try to do the same thing after DD gets on the bus. If I see something of concern, I'll just stop at the office when I'm there.

Y'all are absolutely right that it's a lot of new stuff for these little kids. And yes, DD really is little! I think she's the second-shortest in her class of 27, and none of them are all that big. You're correct that it's all day kindergarten, Sandy, and without a snack or any lunch, DD must've been absolutely starving.

I think I'll take a snack in the car with me so that DD has something to eat immediately as soon as I see her. That may help with the rest of the afternoon.

We'll also have a friend of hers in the car when I pick her up, and that's an interesting little tidbit in all this. Her friend, who is the smartest boy I've met in many years, has moderate ADHD. He started meds last spring and they have helped him tremendously. (I mean seriously, it's like day and night!) The thing is, though, he's spent five years living in his body with all its extra "stuff" going on. And that extra stuff was an effective block for all the sensory input that he couldn't deal with. Now, with the meds moderating it all, he has this huge overload of sensory input whenever he gets into a new situation.

So last week, his old preschool's summer camp ended. He's going to go to a private school and they don't start until next week. This week, he's going to a camp he's never been to before. On Monday, we picked him up from camp and had him over for a playdate until his mom got home from work. He was completely overloaded, scared, and barely able to function when we got there. He'd done well until the free play time, but then there was too much noise, movement, and disorder for him to be able to handle it. So he'd removed himself and was sitting in a quiet corner with one friend he'd made.

It took us most of an hour to get him back to somewhat functional. The lemonade and molasseses cookie from Starbucks probably put too much sugar in his system, but it was a known and very close by routine thing we could do (his mom sometimes takes him there for a treat).

In the car, he didn't want to say a single thing, didn't want to interact, didn't want to go to the park. He just wanted to go home, and if not to his own house, at least to our house. He's been coming to our house almost every week since he was six months old, so it's a safe, known place for him. Only then did he finally calm down and start to be able to function again.

Once his mom got there a couple of hours later, all he wanted was to go home. He actually walked out of the house and got in the car himself -- which he's never done before. Usually he wants to stay longer.

DD and I talked about it quite a bit because she was trying to interact with him the way she usually does, with absolutely no effect. She was very VERY disappointed when he wouldn't listen to the Hannah Montana song that she thought he would like. (Oh, the core hurts that triggered! Inadequacy all over the place, the poor thing.)

But the good thing is that she'd seen it from the outside. So when I asked DD about it last night, and whether that was about how she'd been feeling on the inside, she knew exactly what I was talking about and could relate to it.

Best of all, she said, "I hope [my friend] isn't feeling that way today. I hope he's happy today."

And you know, that bit of compassion for her friend seemed to really shift her own mood. I really like that.

Sounds like she's going to do just fine!!

My kids were always the smallest in class too.. (gee.. I wonder where they get THAT from ).. First day D22 was in high school she came home and said.."mom the boys are so BIG!!!"..

I carpooled most of the 11-12 yrs I had kids in either preschool and/or elementary school. It made the ride home alot more pleasant for them.
And I had children's music in the CD or tape player always... and I always had snacks for them..

As a matter of fact. We have a song just about the snacks. Since my exH didn't like snacks that made crumbs.. I had bags of those mini carrots.. and the song:
"Carrots.. don't make crumbs.. Carrots.. they are fun.. Carrots.. are fun without crumbs..".
well you get the gist of it...

I'm glad she was able to verbalize her feelings so well.

Sigh.. kindergarten I think is as hard on the mommies as it is on the kids...

Loui

Wednesday afternoon was MUUCH different than Tuesday. DD came running up to me after school, gave me a big hug, and climbed into the car already talking to her friend. She ate her crackers like she wanted a snack, but not like she was starving, and we had a marvelous evening.

It had clearly been a good day at school. "We had a FIRE DRILL, mama! We all went to the playground. And I think we did some math. We were sorting the things from the play kitchen. No, I didn't get a drink and I'm not going to! You need to send one with my lunch! I ate my mac & cheese, one slice of apple, and one carrot."

The whole afternoon and evening were about play in a much more big-kid way than they have been before. Can't exactly describe the difference except to say that there was much more negotiation and much less grabbing and ranting at each other. Good to see that, too. And you should have heard the negotiation about what movie they were going to watch. Barbie Mariposa was too girly. And I got annoyed with the "If you don't put in the movie I want then I'm not going to watch anything!" tactics her friend was using. But DD decided that she would rather watch Aladdin, which was not her friend's choice. So we put it in and enticed him to watch it by offering sliced apples and a calm place to sit. It took about 30 seconds for him to realize that Aladdin is NOT a girlie movie at all.

Thursday morning went pretty well, except that DD is officially scared to ride the bus. My ex and I both watched it happen this week and it had a lot to do with there being no adults to guide the kids when they got off the bus. We had trouble with it Friday morning as well, but I'm hoping that the "team" we put together of the kindergarteners from our neighborhood will help the situation.

Thursday afternoon was playdate heaven. First we got together with one of the "team," her mom, her two siblings (5, 2.5, and 7 months. There's a busy mom!), and my ex for some rock climbing and running on the Ultimate field. Well, okay. The kids did that. The grownups compared notes to get some idea of what's happening all day. We figured out math, fire drills, art class, the library, lunchtime, and parts of the safety patrol relationship. Amazing how little visibility we really have, though!

Then DD got a ride home in my ex's car while I walked (they won) and lo and behold, the neighbor from across the street was looking for us for another playdate. So we invited them in (mom, 2 year old, 2 month old) and showed them our toys. The most popular by far was the cool stuff in the basement. There's a castle down there, you know. And a car. And dress-up dresses. And TWO play cell phones.

We had expected to go to the school picnic last night, but the remnants of TS Fay rained it out. So after all our playdates, DD and I settled in to a dinner of burritos (open can of black beans, put on tortilla, cover with a slice of 2% Kraft singles cheese-food, microwave) chicken noodle soup (open can, put in pan, heat, serve), and sliced fruit and veggies. And milk. It was very tasty, actually.

Then we cleaned up. 20 minutes in the kitchen to make lunches and clean up in there, 10 minutes in the basement to put away all the dresses and blocks and mats and other random bits, 10 minutes upstairs to fold and put away all the clothes that DD had decided it was time to get out and start wearing. It's below 80 degrees and rainy for the first time in months, you know. Time for long pants.

And geez, by then it was 7pm and time for dessert! We had brownies and banana bread. And then we went up and got ready for bed. Reading in bed together is still a really good thing, even though I think she should be doing some of the reading now that she's a fairly fluent reader. But I guess I didn't really start reading on my own until I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, so maybe it's a developmental thing or some such.

So all was really pretty fantastic while DD was with me this week. I saw her off on the bus this morning and then snuck over to school to see how the guidance off the buses was this morning. It wasn't better, but two of the three "team" members stuck together, and the third one made it into school okay on her own, so that's an improvement.

Then off I went to work, figuring I wouldn't see DD until tomorrow morning. About 3:30, though, right after I'd gotten home from a meeting, my ex called and said, "Are you home?" Yeah, I just got here. What's up? "DD just threw up in the car. Do you mind if we come over?" Oh dear. Come right over. "Okay, see you in a couple minutes."

I had time to finish changing clothes, get a bottle of water for DD, paper towels to clean up the car, a change of clothes, and a bag to put it all in before they got here. DD threw up again after she got out of the car (better on the ivy than in the car, though!) and then started to perk up.

So we took her in the house, washed her hands and arms and face, rinsed her mouth out a few more times, and changed her clothes. Then we collected a couple of toys she wanted to give her little brother, and off they went. With a "barf kit" of plastic bags, paper towels, water, and a garbage bag to put it all in. Luckily, I hear that none of it was needed. When I talked to her this evening she was just fine. Chalk it up to another oddity of the first week of school, I guess!

Oh, and apparently her first words after throwing up in the car were, "NOW you can see what I had for lunch!"

Woohoo!

quote:

Oh, and apparently her first words after throwing up in the car were, "NOW you can see what I had for lunch!"

oh she's a hoot that one.

I remember D22 saying around the same age "I hate when things come up from my stomach and out of my mouth"

And D20 who refuses to touch chocolate mousse ever again because of a similar experience.

Oh yes.. she'll be just fine that one...
The question is more.. will YOU survive the journey!!?

Loui

I'm just waiting to see what happens next.

Over the weekend, DD finally told me that she'd been crying in the bathroom at school on Friday afternoon. She says it's because she wanted me and my ex. So she came out, the teacher saw her crying and asked what was wrong. When told that DD wanted her parents, the teacher said, reasonably enough, that school would be over soon and then she could see us.

Then DD said she felt like she was going to throw up, so they gave her a trash can, but she didn't throw up.

So they had her sit next to a classmate until they sent her outside, but didn't bother to send a note along saying that she'd been feeling poorly, nor that she'd been upset enough to be in tears.

Now, I know DD fairly well, and I'll tell you that she's got to be crying -really- hard to end up throwing up, or she has to have a migraine. So either she had full-on hysterics at school, or she had a migraine.

Either way, ya know, the teacher needs to send a note home letting us know.

The note my ex wrote to the teacher today was... firmly worded. Very much so. I didn't change a word of it when she gave it to me to read. In fact, if I'd been writing it, there would've been places where I'd made it a bit more pointed. And it wasn't even my car that she threw up all over.

Well my advice to that teacher would be..

never mess with the kids or the mommies.. and be very careful of the kid with 2 mommies!!

And yes.. she should have sent a note home...

Though I will say as a former teacher myself, first day of school.. sometimes the teachers are kinda jaded.. thinking its just a ploy for attention. Sometimes the teachers are overwhelmed because there is more than one kid like yours who has seperation anxiety and they forget or just didn't get the time to write one.. course thats no excuse. A phone call or email would have sufficed too.

I do hope she's better today!!

Loui

It's rumored that the teacher was very apologetic. She had chalked the whole thing up to separation anxiety, you see.

quote:

Sometimes the teachers are overwhelmed because there is more than one kid like yours who has separation anxiety and they forget or just didn't get the time to write one.. course that's no excuse. A phone call or email would have sufficed too

Separation anxiety is so very common in Kindergarten, and even 1st grade. I have had several crying at one time in kindergarten. There is one this year that cries all day. If it's not something that stops fairly quickly, after a couple of days, typically they will assess it and then start to EASE them into the day, such as letting them come a bit late, letting mom or dad stay a bit longer etc.

Now keep in mind JJ that there are virus bugs and such running ramped as well. I've already caught two from the little germ carriers and i haven't even been there every day. Could also explain her upset tummy.

Unfortunately, she is in a large class as well. I can't imagine having that many kindergartners all day!!! This all day stuff is a huge transition as well. Most of them in preschool, it's not all day and then WHAM there they are, having to figure out buses, lunches, opening things, dealing with other kids and sometimes getting overlooked. And don't be surprised if she has a potty accident or two as well in class (G did) And trust me, when a kid in class says, I'm going to throw up, it's the trash can that comes out.

I remember when Christopher was in Kindergarten, he caught EVERYTHING coming and going. I know he had some throwing up thing going on and just recovered from that and got another one right on the heels of the first one and looked like a refugee child for several weeks between bouts of fevers and what have you.

I say you will have more of the good days in a few short weeks when she comes bouncing out of school and tells you all about her day and then chastises you because YOU forgot something. The holidays are coming up and you will start getting adorable pictures and such coming home and you will then realize she is growing up far too fast. There will come an independence with this kindergartner before too long. Sniff Sniff....that's the part I don't like.

It will all be good, but man, I do feel your frustration. I thought I would die the day I took Gracie to kindergarten and that was only a half day. H and I moped around here and practically ran in the building knocking everyone down at 11:30 to pick her up

BTW, we do a daily journal thing for our kindergarten kids. Each month is copied out in a little booklet, and if they have a good day, then they get a star for that day. If they have a problem, we note it down for the parents, and if there are behavior issues, well they get noted as well. For those (and yes there are quite a few) they get strikes. They earn a prize for so many stars in a row. I also know that our kindergarten teachers will call the parents or email if there is more then a few days of separation anxiety.

Hopefully her teacher will be more on the ball with that now that she has been contacted by your ex. But in her defense, I can tell you that it's not unusual for a kindergarten child or all of them at some point in the day to have an ailment. The first time I had a kindergarten class, one little boy had a paper cut. That was it from then on. It was like mass hysteria. Every single one had something wrong and wanted to go to the nurse. Heads, tummy's, bug bite, hang nail, you name it. Finally I said to everyone, if you are bleeding or throw up, you can go to the nurse. If not, please don't ask again. It didn't work. At least not that day. So I gave out tons of hugs and pats on the head instead of visits to the nurse.

I really like that you sneak up there and check on things...the bus etc. That made me smile. My dad would do the same thing for Christopher, except he wouldn't sneak. He would go down there and stand at the fence. I think they finally asked him who he was and what he was doing there!!!! I mean, how many grown men do you see lurking around the playground?!?!?!? He had been diagnosed with cancer by that time and had his treatments and it just made him feel good to be able to watch over Chris. Once they found out he wasn't a predator, they were happy to have him there watching!!!

Hey Sandy -

Thanks for the teacher perspective! I'm sure the teacher is entirely overwhelmed. They've started a red-yellow-green system for behavior management. Apparently DD got yellow yesterday, but couldn't remember why. The teacher says she's much better this week than last, which is also good to hear.

I think we've had two migraines this week, both caught early before they went all the way to throwing up and hysterics. And yeah, Sandy, I know there are all kinds of bugs going around. There's a difference in symptoms between a migraine and a bug, but I think you need to know DD's specific reactions to things to really understand what it is. Obviously the teacher won't know that yet!

Oh, and I have no problem with the trash can or thinking it's separation anxiety. The only thing I had a problem with is not finding out that DD was feeling like she was going to throw up.

When DD came out from school today, she brought along a new friend. That was a bit of a problem, since the new friend was actually supposed to go to the other side of the school to get picked up! Ah, well. I have now met a small friend of DD's who has a fascinating life situation.

The friend's parents live in Africa, though the mom has a beautiful Southern accent. They were here for the birth of their twins, who were born three weeks ago. Both twins have been in the NICU for the last three weeks and one of them just came home on Friday. The other is, they hope, going to come home today or tomorrow. When the twins are strong enough to travel, probably in November, they'll go back to Africa.

How do I know all this? Well, see. DD really likes this new friend, so wrote her a note:

"[Friend], plysgivtis toyourmom. Can wy haf aplaydate onn Wednesday? Love [DD]"

So I translated it on the back (there were lots of backward letters and things that I can't reproduce here) with a note from me with my cell phone number and things. The friend's mom called me on Sunday and begged off for this week -- the twins coming home from the NICU makes playdates a bit of a challenge -- but we're going to get them together for a playdate next week.

When this friend goes back to Africa, DD will have friends on three continents. One of her preschool classmates is in Israel for a year with her family. This world is much smaller than when I was five, that's for sure!

Oh. And yes, HoFS is travelling for work and I've gotten to speak to him for a total of 5.25 minutes since Monday. I'll go back to being much less active on Friday when he's home and I go there.

Geez, and I thought being 365 miles apart was hard. This is killin' me, I tell ya!

heh heh..

Remember not too long ago when Joe was in St. Croix? the "sex camelness?"

Thats what the joke was about. Being able to go long stretches without contact. Verbal or otherwise.

I did NOT like it one bit!!

Loui

The adventure, apparently, continues anew.

A year or more ago, I noticed that my thyroid was, hmm, odd. Odder than usual, perhaps would be a better way to put it. Doctors have been worrying about my thyroid for at least 20 years and have told me for 15 years that it would fail eventually.

So a year ago, I noticed a change. I talked to the ObGYN about it and she suggested a sonogram and a chat with an endocrinologist, because after all it's supposed to fail and maybe it now is. I figured that I'd start to have symptoms when it failed, and put off doing anything about it.

This year, I had the same conversation with the ObGyn and promised to do something about it. I put it off until after the wedding, perhaps understandably. I was already a wee bit stressed, after all.

So yesterday I finally went and had all my tests o' the year done. Mammogram is normal. Bone density is the same as five years ago (osteopenia, hurray me, don't forget to drink your milk and get weight-bearing exercise, J...).

And I have nodules in my thyroid. One on each side, each about 1 cubic centimeter in size. Yup. Lumpy.

So I wasn't all that surprised by that. It's been lumpy and weird for EONS, or at least that's what I recall. But the ObGYN office says that 10 years ago it was weirdly large, but not lumpy. So now that they've seen pictures of the lumpiness, they want to do an FNA (fine needle aspiration) to check the cells and see if they're "all right" or "need to be taken out."

In other words, maybe they're cancerous.

Or maybe 20 years of "challenging times" for my thyroid has created these nodules.

Or maybe it would've happened anyway, since more than half the population has thyroid nodules when they die.

So we'll see.

I'm processing the thoughts with a certain amount of humor, as well as a certain amount of worry. What if I have cancer? What if I have goiters? What if I have Limburger cheese stuffed into my throat????

So. I left a message with the endocrinologist's office. I need to see someone so you can stick a needle in my neck; please call back soon.

And DD's back-to-school night was tonight. They spend 2.5 hours every morning on "literacy." In kindergarten. God help me, when I was in kindergarten we sat in a circle and sang songs. We had a snack, we went out for recess, and we went home for lunch and the entire afternoon. They spend the entire morning on literacy.

I'm trying to get my head around this and failing.

J..



Let us know the results..
And prayers that it is all nothing more than limberger cheese..

Loui

JJ...

Just an FYI..I had a needle biopsy done in my neck as well. Not the most plesant thing in the world. Long story short, I had a tumor on my salivary gland (the big one) They didn't know that yet and it ended up being a way longer surgery then they thought it would be. Guess the tumor was wrapped all around the large gland. Had to come out. Had a wonderful surgeon. Have barely any scar at all and it was one of those "fluke" things. No reason for it, just that it was.

One note, my biopsy came back inconclusive. I had this taken out when G was exaclty two months old. Not a very good time for such a thing because of the fear of blood clots. I had just given birth, but it had to come out.

So I say to you...1. Deep, deep breath. I know how scary this stuff can be. 2. Have HoFS there with you for the biopsy. 3. Have HoFS baby you after the biopsy. It is quick and all, but you will have some discomfort afterward. Not a lot of pain or anything, but discomfort. You have had a needle just stuck in your neck. That in my mind requires babying and soup and a cozy blanket and a cozy husband to snuggle you. 4.Goiters can be removed or taken care of by medication.

This tumor I had taken out, they took my ear off, well flapped it back and the incision ran all the way down the side of my neck. Quite the incision. I looked like a close relative of Frankenstein. But as I said, the wonders of a very good surgeon...priceless.

Do keep us informed and I will keep you in my thoughts. You will be fine.

Kindergarten in my day. We went, we had stories read to us, we sang songs, we had snacks and we took a nap. All in half a day...hmmmmmmm...and I managed to be a well adjusted, fairly intelligent person. Now how did that happen?

One of the coolest things ever was when I had my biopsy ... the first one, I think .... and the green and yellow bruises on my neck were so big and ugly they grossed out my teenage boys. Sweeeeeeet.

I wonder if I can find and scan the pics of my neck splayed open ...... supposedly it's being used for training these days.

P

JustJ - hope you're going ok. Self nurture, an' all that stuff. Good luck with it.

Sandy, Penny - EUWWWWWWW!
That all just grossed me out. Largely because I'm already scared of needles. And YES that is why I'm trying for all this natural childbirth business even though I'm the least natural and most pain-phobic person I know... normally it's bring on the painkillers!!! But one that comes as a huge needle in my spine??? Euw...... notsomuch. (sigh)

quote:

One of the coolest things ever was when I had my biopsy ... the first one, I think .... and the green and yellow bruises on my neck were so big and ugly they grossed out my teenage boys. Sweeeeeeet.

I wonder if I can find and scan the pics of my neck splayed open ...... supposedly it's being used for training these days.

Penny, you have an unusual definition of cool, but I should have known that.

J, hope that it's really cheese, and that all goes well.

Kindergarden sure has changed, but then again, I don't think that litercy was even a word until I was in high school. I remember having to color boxes of 8 colors (that's all there were back then) and stay in the lines. It helped with the transition that my teacher lived across the street, and was the mother of our babysitter. The weird thing now, is that I took a city bus to school by myself. All the old ladies looked out for me. Different times.