Well HoFs, from your mouth to the universe's ears.. cause quite honestly.. my future right now is looking quite scary.

I am more than likely going to lose my job in the not too distant future because of the economic landscape. I am definitely losing CS when my youngest graduates HS in the spring. I am in the process of cutting out as many 'extras' in my spending as humanly possible so I don't have to get a second job (which actually might end up being a 1st job anyway)...so.. things financially.. are very uncertain.

Loui

I'm sorry Loui. You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers...

Thank you Bunny..

I lost my job. I lost my health benefits. My exH decided to start yanking the chain about CS & alimony. All on the same day.

I think I need some tranquilizers

Loui

I am sorry you guys are going through a rough patch. Before I was divorced, even as a child, I never really had to worry about money, or so I thought. But, somehow God made me very careful. Even when I was very young my grandfather always said, "_____, you can pinch a penny so hard you make Lincoln cry." How true!

I've learned even more about managing a household, kids, and bills. I have two part-time jobs, ponies, dogs, chickens, cats and three kids. I also proud to say I pay child support. My kids are with me half of their time and when my ex has to work or is out of town when I support them as well. And we do okay.

Some of our tricks for getting by might be specific to my region, but these little changes in life really help.

1. All the old standbys from grandma still work. Always hang laundry to dry, winter or summer, turn off lights, turn down, way down, the temperature (today that's hard), carpool or save all trips and go out once, freeze and can foods, repair what's broken (youtube has lots of how tos), use everything till it wears out and then find another use for it.

2. Trade with friends. I've traded big items, like a sofa or enough firewood for a whole year, accounting help and small items like food from the garden, hair cut and color, clothes for the kids and me. I also remember to trade both goods and services. Kids can trade too.

Trading is also a great way to build community and friendships. It's just plain fun to take care of each other and a great lesson for the kids.

3. Never, ever go shopping. This may sound strange but it's true. If I don't see it I don't buy it. Obviously, I need to buy things, but I look at ways not to buy and certainly not to buy new. Even food, okay, we need new food, but I shop for food every two weeks, WITHOUT the kids who tend to shoot the budget and shop only at a discount, pack your own market. Every two weeks I spend $50 on food and other stuff typical of the grocery store. I visit no other stores. (There's also a great store with dented items, they call it grocery salvage. It's great!)

4. Be open to people who want to help, and accept it with a smile and a thank you. A friend put new tires on my car when he borrowed it, another friend built a chimney for my wood stove.

5. Let folks know what you need and accept free stuff. I mentioned doing some yard and garden work. One friend gave me old fencing, another vegetable plants and still another a couple of trees. People have given me slate and bricks. I have been given a half a cow, four turkeys (alive, I traded two for someone to butcher them), several large portions of pork, half a deer and I bought 40 pounds of sausage from an Amish neighbor for $1.00 a pound. Yes, I love my freezer.

6. Always look for opportunities to give to others. To whom much is given, much is expected. Luke 12:48

No doubt you know all this stuff. But, my grand parents were part of the greatest generation and they taught me much, mostly to pass it on and hold on tight.

Good luck.

Oh Loui!

I am so sorry that this is happening. I will be praying for you. I wish there was more that I could do.

Times being how they are and just about everyone I know meeting new financial challenges maybe folks could list some ideas, tricks, whatever, for stretching a dollar (I guess the Lincoln metaphor works there too).

That's a great idea, Aguantar. Would you be willing to start a new thread about it? There's a ton of folks on the boards who are struggling (many of them quietly) to make ends meet and that would give it more visibility. I know I'd be interested in reading the tips, and contributing the few things I've learned.

That's a great idea, but I don't know how to do it. Figuring out how to post was nothing short of a miracle.

Maybe you could just move my first post on this thread to its own...if that's possible?

And, I am sorry Louie, we were posting at the same time, I think, and I just read your post. I am so very sorry.

quote:

That's a great idea, but I don't know how to do it. Figuring out how to post was nothing short of a miracle.

I know how you feel. I was trying to figure out how to use a feature I haven't used before on my cell phone the other day. Sheesh!

Anyway, to create a new thread, just go up to the very top of the page and look for a row of blue "tabs" just above the beginning of the text. "Go," "New," "Find," "Notify," etc. are the labels.

Click on "New." That will bring up a drop-down menu. Choose "Discussion."

That will bring up a new window where you can enter a Subject and then your Message. And then you're off and running!

quote:

Maybe you could just move my first post on this thread to its own...if that's possible?

We don't usually move or remove posts, but I'll copy it and put the text into a new thread so folks can see it more easily.

And I'll also put your other post on the new thread.

quote:

I lost my job. I lost my health benefits. My exH decided to start yanking the chain about CS & alimony. All on the same day.

Oh Louie, I only just saw this.

So sorry to hear it. Good luck with it. And you know what they say, sometimes these things are for the best yada yada - not always the case unfortunately but you do hear so many "it was lucky I lost my job because it forced me to finally do X and now I'm a multimillionaire...."

Here's hoping that's you!

quote:

it was lucky I lost my job because it forced me to finally do X and now I'm a multimillionaire.

I keep telling Joe that the 'redneck retirement plan' aka the lottery just ain't workin!!

Well guys thank you for all the support. So far things aren't as bleak as I had first envisioned. My laid off may actually be a temporary thing...depending on 'if' I find another job first, or 'if' the company gets the funds they've been working to get before that happens. We shall see how that goes...And of course the CS/alimony thing is simmering on the back burner. My tax refund is pretty nice too which will help all in the temporary.

Joe may have a job at a friend's office. Accidently stumbled on it, as we had no idea they were hiring and the hrs are alot. His wife told us her H works 60-70 hrs a week.. But Joe said he's up for it since there would be time & 1/2 involved for the overtime. We shall see.

In the meanwhile, we have done some cutbacks at home. And Aquantar... I NEVER go shopping, not for fun anyway... Luckily, its something I really hate doing. So the farther away from the stores I stay, the happier I am.

Luckily... I was raised in a large family and we didn't have much money, but we knew how to enjoy the little things. Also since the time of my divorce I've learned how to live on alot less. So I really am okay. And the girls are the first to worry about things...

Oh yeah Mags.. having a millionaire for a twin doesn't hurt, but I would never ask for anything unless it was the last resort...I am beginning to feel alot better this week than last. Though I'm sure it'll be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. So bear with me. Poor Joe... He's been great too.

Loui

So.. being unemployed feels weird. The last time I was, was about 4 yrs ago and that was strictly to recover from my back problems.
I was back to work in a month.

This is a complete unknown. My boss is desperately trying to reopen the business, but won't know for probably another month. In the meanwhile I started unemployment and job searching.

Last week, after applying to the county for a particular position.. I had to go in and take a general knowledge test and typing test. Typing I knew wouldn't be a problem. I surely wish I knew I could have taken a calculator with me for the other one. Oy.. long division, multiplication, etc... I hate that crap. Mr. Joe, the math savant can look at numbers and know the answers...me.. I still use my fingers!!!! yeah, that right brained thing is definitely NOT an asset in this case.

But I passed.. as I am good at organizational skills, proofreading, english & grammar...and really...what an executive secy does for the most part, is make sure the boss is on track for what he has to accomplish. And what an administrative assistant does, is whatever the boss doesn't want to. (at least thats been my experience!! )

So..

at home.. we just noticed a leak in the shower and are desperately hoping that its just a couple of loose tiles and NOT a leak in the shower membrane. One requires removal & retiling/regrouting the shower floor. The other requires basically.. gutting and starting the shower over from scratch. One thing that I was NOT counting on financially...though with all the HGTV I've watched over the past few years and all the home repairs/remodeling that Joe has done over the years...we could do it ourselves...and will if necessary.

I just was sorta having a mini melt down at Lowe's yesterday finding out the possibilities of what we're up against. The only silver lining is we aren't working and have the time.

If it ain't one thing its another.
and one way or another..its gonna cost ya.

BUT.. keep the positive energy going... Joe has the possibility of a job!! Turns out one of the job applications he sent in thru the agency is an opening in a friend's department...and he's one of the guy's who makes the hiring decisions. So he gave the resume over to his boss and said I want him. Its alot of hrs .. he told us 40 hrs + mandetory 30 hrs overtime right now. Good point of that is it is time 1/2 for overtime Joe could use the cash.

Loui

The trials we go through...sometimes I just am amazed and my quote from Mother T that I like to use, God never gives us more then we can handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much.

It will work out for both you and Joe, just have faith.

Christopher's (my son) employer that laid him off, called him back two weeks later. They created a position for him which really took a load off my mind. I am in no position to help him and that bothered me. He met with the owner of the company who said he was glad to see him back and that he had been on vacation for a couple of weeks...Chris said...me too!

Something will come through for you...try to use this time to relax a bit and get caught up on stuff.

quote:

at home.. we just noticed a leak in the shower and are desperately hoping that its just a couple of loose tiles and NOT a leak in the shower membrane. One requires removal & retiling/regrouting the shower floor.

well, I tore up the old tile and couldn't find a membrane under it. Not sure where that leaves us, but I think I can seal the floor with silicone, then tile over it. I'd rather change ALL the tile (walls, floor) but it's not in the budget right now. Loui was almost hyperventilating when we looked at tile the other day.

Hey.. guess what!?

Joe got a job!

YAY!!

Its at a friends office..and he pushed Joe's resume thru. Its temp to hire and we'll take whatever we can get!

Now we'll see what happens with my job. Its still not over yet, the boss is meeting with bankers about a line of credit and a reorganization of sorts. We shall see!

And the bathroom is getting there. Joe finished the waterproofing seal and tomorrow is lay tile day.. and then new shower heads and faucets and voila!! I'm so excited!

Loui

Gee.. its been since Feb that I last posted. I guess I should.

Its 7:30 am.. I'm in Sacramento at D22's house visiting...I'm still on east coast time and I miss Joe.

I was 'laid off' about 3 months ago. Though money is a little tighter, I'm on unemployment and some 'cash' work for my former boss when he needs me. He's still trying to get the business back up and some semblence of running, but I just don't see it happening. Its too bad.

But Joe is working...so now its a bit of a role reversal. He's off to work long hrs and I'm working at home doing stuff...enjoying my time not working but knowing its only temporary.

Sept is coming up on our third anniversary...I can't believe it been that long. Feels like yesterday the first time I met him at the Denver airport. And before I left he gave me the sweetest compliment. He said I make his life amazingly uncomplicated. I guess we both have lived in drama filled, complicated relationships so long, we didn't realize relationships COULD be uncomplicated!!

The kids have seemed to come to accept and like Joe's presence. They trust him in some ways more than their dad. And he has laid his boundaries as to what kind of a 'step parent' so to speak, he is. He has said he does not want to even try to be their dad, they already have one of those...but if they need help with anything or need to just ask the advice of another adult, he's always there for that. Joe's D21 was down visiting recently and we got to spend some time together. She was candid about what she saw in her parents marriage and the difference's she sees in Joe now. She even told us that she's considering moving down closer to us when she's done with school. (which would make my D20 happy, its so nice how well they get along). Joe's S23...he's a typical college student, very wrapped up in his own life to really notice anything going on with any one else.

What I have noticed in our relationship is how it is settled into comfortable, attachment phase...but for me the 'safe' factor and 'trust' factor is so strong that it brings an overwhelming feeling of love and commitment.

I think I would walk to the ends of the earth for this man...and I love him more deeply and fully every day.

Loui

Yeah, and you should see them together. It is so obvious that they are in love and that it is really WORKING!

tee hee.. yeah. It is...tee hee.

Hey!! Guess What!!?

I got a job!!

I was offered what is a good opportunity with a large medical practice, but the pay is like 20% less than what I had been making (though honestly, most of whats out there is less than what I was making, no two ways about it)..the killer part of the thing though is the drive. Which would have been at least 35 mins.

I really agonized over the decision because I worried in this economic environment, how long would I wait to get another interview/offer (its been 4 months for this one since I started unemployment), I liked the woman I interviewed with very much, the company has good benefits and a very decent vacation/sick day schedule.. and I was thinking that getting back in the medical field would be a good thing (its been 10 yrs) since it is the 'new growth' industry.

I finally, finally.. after much soul searching and stressing out over it, decided I wouldn't take it...I would just take my chances and keep looking for something.. but also I would start working on the new business venture my girlfriend and I had been discussing.

Well after the week of stressing (poor Joe felt so helpless. I must have asked him a 100 times what his thoughts were, what I should do)...Finally, I threw it out to the universe and said...I'm tired of the rat race...but I do need an income other than unemployment. Just show me the path and I'll take it.

The next day I spoke to the woman I interviewed with and told her that I appreciated the great opportunity but I just couldn't justify the long commute for the pay...and she said...what if I can get you into one of the locations thats closer to where you live. Would you consider it? I said yes... and thats exactly what she did. She got me into one of their locations thats 15 mins from my house...2 miles from where Joe works...so we could actually carpool with each other a couple days a week and meet for lunch occasionally. Close enough to home that if there's an emergency I can get there quickly as well. And the woman said to me that she's pretty sure I would be able to move up into a management position/better pay in not too long a time. She said with my experience in the field I should pick up their procedures and get into the swing of it quickly.

So..I had to go out and buy all new scrubs...and put away all those dress clothes I own. (I haven't worn scrubs in like 15 yrs)...

And... after talking with my girlfriend she said she thought it was a great idea that I take the job...and that we work on our idea/business and hopefully in a couple of years we could both quit the rat race and have something viable of our own. And worse case..if it doesn't work out.. it was a darned good effort... and the job will still be there.

So.. Yay! I start June 1st!

Loui

Woo-Hoo!!!!!

Congrats! That's great news.

HoFS