The list is by no means comprehensive, but it certainly is a good start to having the right word to describe what it is you are feeling.

Remeber honesty is always about you and your reaction to the world around you. Honesty in marriage is to a large extent expressing how you feel about the things your spouse does. You do that by saying, "I feel_____ when_____." And don't forget to express good feelings too!!

The List:

Feeling Words ~ In order of intensity of feeling from a little to a lot
Mad:
Bothered
Ruffled
Irritated
Displeased
Annoyed
Steamed
Irked
Perturbed
Frustrated
Angry
Fed up
Disgusted
Indignant
Ticked off
Bristling
Fuming
Explosive
Enraged
Irate
Incensed
Burned up
Outraged
Furious
Blind rage

Sad:
Down
Blue
Somber
Low
Glum
Lonely
Disappointed
Worn out
Melancholy
Down hearted
Unhappy
Dissatisfied
Gloomy
Mournful
Grieved
Depressed
Lousy
Crushed
Defeated
Dejected
Empty
Wretched
Despairing
Devastated

Glad:
At ease
Secure
Comfortable
Relaxed
Contented
Optimistic
Satisfied
Refreshed
Stimulated
Pleased
Warm
Snug
Happy
Encouraged
Tickled
Proud
Cheerful
Thrilled
Delighted
Joyful
Elated
Exhilarated
Overjoyed
Ecstatic

Afraid:
Uneasy
Apprehensive
Careful
Cautious
Hesitant
Tense
Anxious
Nervous
Edgy
Distressed
Scared
Frightenend
Repulsed
Agitiated
Afraid
Shocked
Alarmed
Overwhelmed
Frantic
Panic stricken
Horrified
Petrified
Terrified
Numb

Confused:
Curious
Uncertain
Ambivalent
Doubtful
Unsettled
Hesitant
Perplexed
Puzzled
Muddled
Distracted
Flustered
Jumbled
Unfocused
Fragmented
Dismayed
Insecure
Dazed
Bewildered
Lost
Stunned
Chaotic
Torn
Baffled
Dumbfounded

Ashamed:
Uncomfortable
Awkward
Clumsy
Self-conscious
Disconcerted
Chagrinned
Abashed
Embarrassed
Flustered
Sorry
Apologetic
Ashamed
Regretful
Remorseful
Guilty
Disgusted
Belittled
Humiliated
Violated
Dirty
Mortified
Defiled
Devastated
Degraded

____________________________
met 6-2-99, engaged 6-2-00, married 6-2-01, H moves out 3-26-02, H moves home 5-27-02, Recovered

The significant problems we face can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. - Albert Einstein

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting to get a different result. Persistence is great, but you must persist with something that works.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence. - Albert Einstein

[This message was edited by *Tak* SYMC on Thu February 19 2004 at 09:31 PM.]

OK.... in another post the feeling statement was done in a slightly different format:

quote:

---

"When you__, I think__, I feel__, so__"

---

I kind of like this, cause it puts that 'thinking' step in there. Is this OK to use, or does it mess up the process?

Wings

Wings,

HI

I like to begin with my feeling....and distill the statement in such a way that it is about me....and doesn't confuse my H. If I begin with what he does....he thinks it's a criticism. Somehow, when I begin with how I feel....he feels less defensive. Does that make sense?

FaeryWings,

I use the acronym WTFS to remember to use all those elements in a statement, but the first three can be in any order that works for you. For example, Star likes: I feel__ when you___ so I ask ___. I like the WTFS format because I am a gigantic, gooshy feeler and rarely stop to think of what I THINK...so WTFS reminds me to think.

I also like to end with the S because it reminds me to not only state my feelings and thoughts when a certain event happens...but to also ask for something--a change, a solution, some help...something. One of the things that drives me buggy is when someone says to me, "I feel unhappy" and then expects me to know why and what to do to make them happy. OTOH it would totally work for me if someone said, "I feel unhappy when you stay up on that SYMC site for 3 days in a row, so I'm going to ask you to work out a time with me when you will get some sleep every day." (giggle!!)

See?? In the first statement of feelings, you don't know why or what to do...it's confusing. In the second statement of feelings you know why they feel what they do and you know what they are asking you to do to help. Then you can either be willing or unwilling to do what they request...or you can offer an alternative that would work for you.

Finally, I do usually include the "I Think___" portion of the exercise because usually if I can ever calm my emotions enough to think, I can also get a little more logical and get down to the heart of the issue (rather than going round and round trying to identify the problem). I can boil it down to one good sentence. I also find that a lot of people are thinkers and may not readily identify with the feelings part, but identify with the thinking part and can then relate the THOUGHT to the feeling.

The end result??

When you ask a question about clarifying the official format of the feeling statement, I think you must really be interested and want more information, I feel a little bit happy and pleased that I can provide an answer, and so I'd like to encourage you to keep asking questions and practicing the WTFS format...

FWS...

FTWS...

whatever!!



Selene