|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Quick Click: |
|
|||||||||
|
The Village at SYMC The Village at SYMC Infidelity Healthy Anger, or: I'm mad as &^## and don't know what to do with it!!!|
Go
|
New
|
Find
|
Notify
|
Tools
|
Reply
|
|
|
Village Elder |
Alrighty folks, here it is. My thread about how genuinely ticked off I am at a bunch of things in my life.
So, where do I begin? How do I begin to let out this anger in a way that won't hurt me or anyone else? Want to help me with this? Because seriously, when I even allow a teensy-tiny, wee bit of it up into the light, my desire is to say ugly, yucky, smutty words REALLY REALLY LOUD ... but I know I can't here, so... Um.  ~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
||
|
|
Village Elder |
Yes, I do, but I can't.....I'm not equipped. But I'll stay with you while others are helping you.  Where we find our greatest weaknesses ~ is where we can also find our greatest strengths. |
|||
|
|
Villager |
Hi Nyn,
I find the basement or the car (driving solo) is a great place to say this stuff. It certainly won't hurt anything else. And if this is a "one time" issue of needing to blow off steam, it probably won't hurt you either. Have you worked this through with your therapist?  |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
Hum. Well, can I say BUMMER? Why do you think you aren't equipped? (If you don't mind telling me.) back atcha!~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
Hi K
 ,Oh, it's not a one-time kind of anger. It's a long-time kind. Oh yeah, my therapist and I are talking about it, too, but... there's a resistence on my side that is impossible to ignore. I thought I might feel safer here... being semi-anonymous and all  . If the consensis is that I am not safe to do this here, then I'll have to rely on my therapy only. I just thought... maybe... hum. Hm. Sigh. ~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
|||
|
|
SYMC Founder Coach |
Willing to try something different than either venting or stuffing? How about this - you tell me:
What you're angry about How you feel And: I'll guide you through the HEALS steps. Wanna try? ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ penny.tupy@yahoo.com My eBook – Overcoming Infidelity One on one personalized help – Hire me “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.” “It’s not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents’ happiness. Not unless you want to create co-dependents who’ll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy." ~*~ Laura A. Munson “Heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen. A quest may not simply be abandoned; unicorns may go unrescued for a long time, but not forever; a happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.” ~*~Peter S. Beagle~*~ |
|||
|
|
Founding Member / Pioneer Villager |
Nee-ne-vay....is that the right pronounciation?
Hi chere....mad huh? Anger is a secondary emotion....let's talk about what's below that? Don't wait for anyone to bring you flowers. Plant your own garden. |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
Okay J and star,
I have my snorkel on and I'm ready to dive. I can only do one at a time so give me a second to think of what first... ~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
|||
|
|
Founding Member / Pioneer Villager |
Ok, so what are those "bunch of things" that tick you off? It is always best to begin by defining specifically what it is that triggers the anger. Do me a favor and list those BEFORE you list what is beyond the anger (which is, of course, hurt and injury).
Don't believe everything you think. |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
Oh, and star, I pronounce it like this: Ni(eye)-nev(ev). Long i short e. But I could be wrong. LOL, since it's a real name from mythology and I've never heard it spoken out loud.
Alright~ ...and this is hard because I typed it three times with extraneous information that made it colorful but not succinct (sp) and I can't spell and it's frustrating, which I'm also irked about but that's not what I want to talk about right this second because I do know why that makes me mad - it makes me feel stupid, but I digress... or do I?... I am mad because I can't find a job in my field. ed - since I typed it twice, after all. <grin> ~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
|||
|
|
Founding Member / Pioneer Villager |
And that causes feelings of what?
Don't wait for anyone to bring you flowers. Plant your own garden. |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
I don't do nearly as well in written word as I do in person or by phone. Thanks for saying BUMMER. I say that word too and it made me feel good. Where we find our greatest weaknesses ~ is where we can also find our greatest strengths. |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
Penny, I thought you were J... sorry 'bout that... I do want to do it, if I wasn't clear. Sheesh.
This must make me nervous. Well, it does. ~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
Now see, I can't tell you. The door closes, and yes, even with my therapist. I don't know how to explain it, except I literally don't feel what it is. Is there a way to do this in smaller chunks? I'm guessing that the HEALS will address it in a way I can begin to move forward, Penny? ~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
|||
|
|
SYMC Founder Coach |
Tell me what the anger self talk in your head sounds like.
When you say you're angry - and you post all these things &^## what are you hearing in your head? And yes - it is ok to say them on this thread in this context because we're going to do an exercise with them. ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ penny.tupy@yahoo.com My eBook – Overcoming Infidelity One on one personalized help – Hire me “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.” “It’s not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents’ happiness. Not unless you want to create co-dependents who’ll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy." ~*~ Laura A. Munson “Heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen. A quest may not simply be abandoned; unicorns may go unrescued for a long time, but not forever; a happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.” ~*~Peter S. Beagle~*~ |
|||
|
|
Founding Member / Pioneer Villager |
Yeah....I seem to be able to find everything BUT the pronunciation....although one of the spellings (nynaeve) leads me to believe that yours must be right.
Don't wait for anyone to bring you flowers. Plant your own garden. |
|||
|
|
Founding Member / Pioneer Villager |
Ok, let's back up a few paces, shall we?
When do you feel the anger? Is there any pattern to it? Any obvious triggers? Don't believe everything you think. |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
LB, Thanks for 'splainin' and drop by with thoughts any time... then it won't be such a bummer!
And Star, what a doll you are for looking it up! I got my information from a book and never looked on the internet. That's interesting. Thank you! Penny, thank you, too ... a prologue hug!
The anger talk in my head is ugly and self-blaming... About this particular subject (not being able to find a job)... You idiot, you should have known it would be like this. What the hell were you thinking moving to another country in the first place? For crying out loud, you're over 40, fat, and you haven't worked in five years now. Who'd ever hire you now? Everyone said this would be a mistake, why didn't you listen? YOU KNEW it would be a mistake, remember all those doubts, well now you're paying for it. I could go on... but I think you get the drift. ~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
|||
|
|
Village Elder |
Oh Tak, at this point my triggers have triggers... they're everywhere... all the time... it's so overwheming that I hardly know where to begin.
My face is hot right now. I can feel it tightening up. This is frightening for me. I believe as we go along we'll find many of current issues seem to be surrounding my coming to this country and everything that it meant/means to me. It's obviously not the "core issue"... that goes way before... ~~~**~~~**~~~** The first step to greatness is the ability to listen. ~Unknown smart person |
|||
|
|
Founding Member / Pioneer Villager |
You KNOW I understand. You've followed my journey almost from day one. Do you realize you were one of the first people to help me? You you realize that was 3.5 YEARS ago?
I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I bet I'm not the only one who is going to tell you that. Do you need my hand? Do you need a ? I'm lousy at cookies. You wouldn't want to eat them. How about a website?  Don't believe everything you think. |
|||
|
| Powered by Eve Community | Page 1 2 3 4 |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
The Village at SYMC The Village at SYMC Infidelity Healthy Anger, or: I'm mad as &^## and don't know what to do with it!!! | View $GS_USERNAME's Public Profile |
| Add $GS_USERNAME to my Ignore List |
| View Recent Posts by $GS_USERNAME |
| Notify me of New Posts by $GS_USERNAME |