I have been married for 14 months. It is the second marriage for both my husband and I. We are both in our 50's

I recently found out, that within weeks of our marriage my husband joined an intimate online dating site. His profile indicated that he was married and looking for a discrete affair. In his profile he listed all the sexual adventures he was seeking. He had sent out at least 30 emails to members on this site.

To make matters worse I also found months worth of emails to an old college girlfriend, full of lust and love. On a recent trip home they met. He swears there was no sex, although there was kissing and groping. Quite frankly that seems moot at this point.

For the last month I have literally been in hell. I totally respected this man and thought he had integrity. I could never in my wildest dreams have imagined this.

Last night we went to a marriage counselor.
The counselor said I was traumatized and that husband had a serious problem (sex addiction)and was at high risk of reoffending.

In one way this helped as I was tormenting myself wondering what I had done to cause him to behave in this way. Now I know it was never me that this is his issue.

I don't know what to do, a big part of me wants to call it a day and walk and another part wants to do the work.

Is there any chance that serial cheaters can reform

justjoey..

Welcome to SYMC.. though the reasons that have brought you here are sooo upsetting.

I think the first thing I'd like to suggest to you as another resource for help besides us is
Recovery Nation

They have alot of help and information available to spouse's as well as the person who has the addiction.

As much as this is going to be difficult for you, I would suggest that you both get tested for STD's. I understand he said there was no sex...but if it were me I'd want to be sure that I was indeed okay...

And you can not have done anything to him to cause him to behave that way. Put that thought out of your mind. He has an addiction and that causes him to behave the way he does. Its not an excuse or a justification. It's the way an addicts mind functions.

We do have some information about sex addiction over on the Addictions board as well, so you might want to check that out.

Keep posting, and we will help you any way we can.

Loui

Hi Joey, glad you found this site. I have no answers for you but I know you have a lot of research to do before you will find the answers you are looking for. There are a lot of people here who can help you with that. I hope you took Louie's advice and got tested for STD's. You don't need that nasty little bugger to deal with so get tested and then wipe that off your slate of things to think about. Good Luck, we're here for you.