Just wanted to say I read Nyneve's thread with interest, since I am in pretty much the same devalued place she is. I am using anger to avoid feeling the pain. As Penny told Nyneve, you have to let yourself feel the bad feelings if you want to move on. My psychiatrist told me the same thing. Until I am willing to feel the bad feelings, there is no hope for progress.

So I hope Nyneve keeps working through her feelings. And I hope I find a way to let myself feel mine. Maybe taking Xanax and beta blockers to ward off the panic attacks is a bad idea. Maybe I need to experience the panic attacks to get back in touch with my feelings.

Sunday morning is the kickoff meeting for the synagogue's men's group. Maybe if I do some connecting in the real world, I will have enough deposits in my Core Values bank to do some HEALS. So far, whenever I do HEALS I get stuck not believing that I have any CV. I need to do sme positive things to put someting in those boxes.

And I need to stop acting out at work. Acting out at work is like love busters. It is like holes in the bucket. I can't deposit any Core Value while I am leaking so much through my work misbehavior. Which feeds the feeling of Core Hurt.

Did you listen to the Finding Your Heart meditation I have on podcast?

You cannot do HEALS without knowing what it feels like to be connected to self.

I wanted to comment on Nyn's earlier thread, can't remember which one, where you guys were talking about anger and letting it out. It's not the anger that's the problem. The anger is only a way to avoid feeling the hurt underneath. The anger does not need any more feeding or attention - quite the opposite. Only when you feel the pain that's under the anger can you begin to heal - and then the anger will have no reason to exist.

Anger is a symptom it's not the problem. Nor, much of the time, is the thing you think you're angry about.

P

quote:

Did you listen to the Finding Your Heart meditation I have on podcast?

In addition to the Compassion threads, is the podcast available to those who didn't take the class?

Ya know, the whole drug question is so valid. What do you think? Should you be taking the meds? What do you think will happen if you stop them and go through the attacks and what does your Psychiatrist say about it?

I remember when my son was first diagnosed with epilepsy and severe ADHD. Getting those meds worked out was difficult and I wasn't getting a lot of support from anyone. The teachers at school just wanted him to sit quietly (impossible) and he was given so much Ritilin to combat the hyperactivity that he became anorexic (as 8 years old). There was so much more to my son's disorders... and all those scary meds...

Your meds are scary too, you know that. I go back and forth between wishing I had something to just numb the pain, or get me over the hump... and who knows?... maybe getting over the hump is what I need, ya know?

Meds are a tough decision.

Psychiatrists are the medication-givers in the pschology profession. It seems to me that you need the psychiatrist for your meds (if you choose to continue them) and a psychotherapist to talk through your problems with...

Understand, I've been in therapy once-a-week for over a year now and I'm only just beginning to get anywhere near the root of my stuff (with help from my friends here, too)...

What do you think?

quote:

addition to the Compassion threads, is the podcast available to those who didn't take the class?

Yes!!!

Click and listen!!

holdingontoit.

Hey..since you've mentioned synagogue..I figured you and I must be landsmen.. There's a a funny movie about a jewish family out now called "prime"..the scene of the bubbe hitting herself on the head with a frypan is worth the price of the flick.

So you are using anger to avoid feeling pain. What exactly do you do when you feel the pain of core hurt coming on? I've noticed that many times I get angry at something completely different than what I was hurt about.. I think P mentioned that as well.

It's hard to focus on the things that are hurting us...I don't think you need to experience a panic attack about it..but definitely be aware of the core hurt that you are feeling and then working the heals on it would help.

EJLH

quote:

Yes!!!

Click and listen!!

Cool! Thanks Penny!!


holdingontoit,

quote:

And I hope I find a way to let myself feel mine. Maybe taking Xanax and beta blockers to ward off the panic attacks is a bad idea. Maybe I need to experience the panic attacks to get back in touch with my feelings.

Hmmmm....this concerns me. Since you are able to feel things now, like anger, maybe the meds are still a helpful tool? Maybe a necessary tool for now?

Panic attacks. I had what seemed to be attacks but was actually asthma. I have had a couple of panic attacks and some caused by asthma. Hey, have an episode and see if you don't panic!

Hold,

There are natural ways to deal with panic:

Drink plenty of water--it is the medium of biochemistry.

Exercise can put excess emotion in its place, especially stress.

Deep breathing/meditation can also deal with panic and those overflowing emotions.

Perhaps while you're on meds, practice these daily, anyway, especially as emotions rise.

As for the HEALS prescrition of feeling the emotion and being so caught in that moment: I want to comment--that is terrible hard for --TJ's (MBTI personality). But, even though I try to stop the emotion quickly, I am still healing. Perhaps there is a way for those who can't deal with the overwhelming emotions and lock themselves into those feelings to deal with them and still heal. ???

I don't know--I'm guessing. I need to stop flapping my gums and get edudicated on HEALS. I will do that ASAP.

Regina