A very good friend who is divorced just confided in me that he is seeing a married woman. I had known he was in a relationshiop for a few months and was glad for him as he had a rough time moving beyond his divorce.
I was caught completely off guard and did not address it with him because I really couldn't beleive it. I think he hesitated telling me this knowing that my W and I are still recovering from an EA she had last year.
So......I will talk to him about this in the near future but since this is a new area for me, any advice from the all-knowing SYMC message board?

Ouch.

My activist tendencies say to call the woman's husband.

My compassionate training (which is not instinctive!) is suggesting that you draw him out.

How do you think she might feel in the dark nights knowing that she is betraying promises she made to god, herself, and her husband?

What do you think about being part of betraying another man? Does that feel good to you?

It must hurt to be a in relationship you have to hide and lie about.

I'm so sorry - I've seen where this takes people and I feel badly knowing where you're likely to end up.

And, of course, if there are kids there are an infinite number of things that could be asked or said.

P

All of which, btw, must only be spoken with the heartset of truly caring about your friend. But you know that.

P

How much do you support OW marriage?

HoFS

I think that you should tell him, from a place of love and compassion, that what he has told you doesn't change how you view him. He is still your friend, and you don't think that he is a horrible person. What you have a problem with is his actions right now and his decision to be in this relationship. His actions aren't healthy for him, the MW, her husband, her family, etc.

I feel that there is a very good chance he let you know partially as a cry for help. He knows what he is doing is unhealthy and wrong. Otherwise, he wouldn't have hesitated or feared telling you.

I agree with everything Tak said. I think he's crying for help. I say this because I did it myself and the person I confided in I KNEW would not support my bad choices.

Word it right and you can draw him out of the relationship and keep your friendship intact.

He did not tell me her name because I probably know her somehow so I cannot contact her H.

Tak, I do hope you are right about a cry for help. He has had many difficulties in his life since childhood and I have known him for 40+ years like a brother. He was helpful to me during the past year and was probably the only friend I truly confided in. I do hope he will be receptive to me as a result.