but i really didn't want to come back under these terms i really don't know where life is gonna take me i'll post more later i just wanted to let you know that i need to talk again guys thanks


Valor_00

Mr. Valor,

You are more than welcome here under any terms and we are all looking forward to hearing from you

til then


Hypatia

Well Folks,

I figured after not having been on for so long this is the place to start considering this is the last place I posted.

Well I tried, and received no reciprocation to save our marriage, and finally in January, 2008 I gave up.

She had asked for several months for a divorce, and I decided that I could not make her love me again if it was her choice not to. I paid for the divorce. Oh how that hurt.

Yet what hurt worse was the day I walked in my front door without the "daddy's home" from our babies, but I denied that until I received the final court document stating that she had custody, and that I only had visitation (mind you this was best for the kids at the time). I quite seriously almost lost my will to live.

I lost 60lbs in less than 2 weeks, and I could not get my mind straight. Thank God for good friends, and family. My friend actually force fed me, and eventually verbally slapped me out of the state I had gone into.

I might have made better progress if I had admitted myself into mental care; however I think having learned the hard way for that part of my life may have been the best way.

So how about some good news?

I am in college, have a decent job, get to see my kids, and went to court for custody recently (I did not get custody, but I am aware that sexual bias is not a factor in this court). Our children are aware that mommy, and daddy love them. I have learned to better control my depression, my life, I am starting to better understand other people, and a bit of poetry. Yet the ultimate good news is that I learned something from all of this mess:

Life is worth living. No matter the hardships you face that with courage to face the day, hope that it can get better, and some determination you can make it.

quote:

Life is worth living. No matter the hardships you face that with courage to face the day, hope that it can get better, and some determination you can make it.

Awesome! That is a powerful thing to learn, Valor.

Glad you came back here to post.

Something I would like to ask those that are able to be asked is I am writing a paper for my composition class in college. I believe that it would help me to put into words some of these events that I have come through, and with the permission of the folks that read this I would like to include not only this website, but quote some of the advice, and emotional support provided to me. If this would be acceptable I of course will show the direct quotation before hand (and I would like to post it here first).

I would greatly appericate this, and I would like to try to bring more people who are looking for informed help with their problems. I believe that this is a great resource, and I may not have "succeded" in my marriage, but I learned that it is possible with HARD work, and support from people that have been there, and care.

-Valor

Thank you for asking permission, Valor. You can certainly use anything I've written that may be of help. I will also point your note out to folks whose e-mail addresses I have. And if there is someone specific you'd like to contact so you can get their permission to quote, please drop me a line at jbare@comcast.net. (I believe, in addition, that fair use allows you to quote, with attribution, up to a certain amount. But I don't have the specifics in front of me.)

Thank you J

You are more than welcome to quote anything of mine. I'd love to see your paper when it's done

Best to you! Glad to hear things are much more positive in your life these days.

P

Valor,

You are welcome to quote any of my material for your paper. I'd love to read it when you are finished, whether or not you use any of my contributions.

Good luck!

HoFS

Well I get to start this entire writing process over. I scraped the first draft, and decided to go at it a different angle. It is a bit harder to describe, but I think it will convey my message better in the long run. So I may not quote anything from here, but who knows i still have 2 weeks till i turn it in.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Valor,

Scrapped the whole thing, huh? Well, I totally understand doing that, having done it a few times myself. I hope it's going well!