And when the little ones fall asleep on you! That is a lovely feeling - the closest you get to 'trust'.

My little (second) boy is 26 today. Now instead of me giving him cuddles, he gives me bear hugs. Sooo good.

Mags, you are a woman with a good heart. Your little girl is so lucky, you can not fail to be a good mum, because you will strive to be so. We all make mistakes, but our kids know if we stuff up with good intentions. I am so happy for you,
love Jules

Oh Mags,

It's wonderful that you and bub are both doing great! Nothing is so special as a sweet beautiful baby.

How are you doing?

Congratulations again.:-)

Regina - hehe - how amazing! Yeah mine's a side sleeper already if we don't swaddle her up - not sure how that works as she's not supposed to be able to turn for a good while. Yeah would've been nice if she'd figured out that turning thing when I was in LABOUR for a day and a half! BAH.

Oh Penny the fat folds... she's putting on weight now and she's like a little michelin man round the belly - and her KNEES! She keeps them bent so often that when she straightens them the knees are SO fat and wrinkly! Man - I think I want the WHOLE of her bronzed for posterity...

Jules you have way more faith in me than is justified! But I certainly hope I could live up to it. I dunno - I get very easily brought down. There was milk supply problem on day 3 and I got so low - and then when the milk came in ditto - and then last night I had the beginnings of mastitis and got all feverish and shivery and I just couldn't hack it. And yet these are pretty minor things. I just don't seem to cope well with adversity at all - get very easily overwhelmed.
As for trust - she's awful! Even when I'm getting her into feeding position she screams her head off. Take her off to burp and she's off like a siren again. I've never starved her what does she take me for??? Acts like the world is going to end - she doesn't seem to trust I'll feed her at all!

Hey TJ - better now. Mastitis seems to have cleared so I'm feeling a bit more positive again. But a bit worried/stressed as it's starting to seem likely that H will be losing his job in a couple of months, and it's a horrible economy for job hunting. Oh well I'm sure we'll get through somehow no point anticipating and stressing now before it's happened.

Current dillemma is getting bub into a 'routine'. There is a big divide between the kind of au naturale approach which I had sort of seen myself using (including demand feeding, baby wearing and the rest) and the military routine approach that I'm now contemplating. Both sides have very passionate propononents, and my beliefs I think lie some way in the middle. I like the idea of being responsive to bubs every need and making her secure and wearing her on me most of the time etc. etc. But I must admit it loses it's shine when her 5 hour sleep is mid morning and her 2 hourly feeds are from 2am onwards. Got one of these books on setting up a routine and it's military in it's precision. It certainly kills the idea of the freedom of just attaching bubs to my front and going about my daily business. Or kind of having an adaptible bub who can sleep anywhere on anything surrounded by anything - my ideal. This one is all about association and consistency and boy you can't stray from the schedule or it throws everything off! But on the other hand if she got into a routine it would provide some very valuable predictability in life.

Well, tomorrow we're going to start trying to implement the frameworks of a routine - but not as extreme as prescribed, and see how we go with it. Wish me luck!

Good luck, mags!

Thanks for the update. I'm so happy for you and the family. :-)

quote:

But on the other hand if she got into a routine it would provide some very valuable predictability in life.

Heh. Lemmee tell you. I've had six children. It doesn't make a whole lot of difference what you do. She'll do what she wants to do and you'll run to adjust

Just enjoy her. This time now feels so exhausting and overwhelming, I know. But just enjoy her. I nothing else gets done it's really ok. My 'baby' is 14. You can't even begin to imagine how fleeting those moments of babyhood and childhood are.

<sigh> And I know this is what every parent of grown children says and that no first time parent can hear. But I gotta try it ....

Love ya,

P

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If nothing else gets done it's really ok.

Ditto on that.

quote:

Yeah would've been nice if she'd figured out that turning thing when I was in LABOUR for a day and a half! BAH.

D22 was facing the wrong way when she crowned. Heh.. I still tease her about being backwards and confused.

military routine.. with a newborn.

I remember those days really well. No sleep.. feeding.. no sleep.. feeding. It'll get better. 'specially when they turn around 18...
(sorry, couldn't resist )

so.. you've got a screamer eh? We used to call D18 Shreekadeek when she was a baby. The call of the wild is what we labeled it.

All of you will get into a routine soon enough...

Just relax and enjoy her. She's beautiful...(I looked on Facebook.. btw.. you are too!! )

Loui

quote:

It doesn't make a whole lot of difference what you do. She'll do what she wants to do and you'll run to adjust

Gotta second that. Or third or fourth or whatever it is by now.

I would say that the process of shifting her from her previous routine (sleep during the day, awake at night) to a new routine (sleep when the rest of us think she should sleep, awake when we want to goo and gah and play) is going to take, oh, somewhere between 2 months and 70 years. If she decides she wants to do it.

And I will also say that she will do things that you ask her to do, sometimes, in ways that absolutely amaze you. So ask her. You'll never know exactly how many times you'll have to ask her. And you don't know how many times you need to re-ask after you thought the deal was done.

None of that is really necessary right now, though. I read, early on, that the first two months is pure indulgence, and you don't need to worry about routines and discipline at all. I agree with that. When she's two or three months old, she will have gotten used to air and breathing and blinking and peeing and pooping. But really, if you'd never done it before, you'd need a little time to adjust to it a well.

quote:

You can't even begin to imagine how fleeting those moments of babyhood and childhood are

Oh I think I can. Apart from having heard it so much, I've also always been terrible at letting things go. I think it's part of what makes me such a hoarder, part of what makes letting OM go so difficult - and now, part of what is making me consider bronzing a sculpture of her little hands and feet...! Crazy but I just can't stand to think they'll grow and lose their georgeous littleness - I get annoyed with H every time he rushes around doing work instead of sitting and savouring her little perfectness, and I find myself buzzing with various things I need to do but feel guilty for putting her down when I know every stage of her life will pass so fast. Maybe I have a heightened sensitivity to it as my two new nephews/nieces are 3 and 6 months old respectively - and to me they look ENORMOUS! (sigh) I don't cope well with loss. A time travel machine would be perfect.

Oh Louie...!

JustJ - ok I'll try. I asked her to turn around in the womb though - huh. I'm worried she doesn't like me actually. She seems to settle better with anybody else than me. She doesn't look at me when she's feeding - she looks at a lot of stuff that should be too far away to focus on but not me. She looks at other people. It's starting to freak me out. Is she a teenager 14 years premature?!

quote:

Is she a teenager 14 years premature?!

It's quite possible. My daughter was a horrid child. Utterly and completely horrid. She'll tell you that herself - we laugh about it now. From the age of 3 days until she hit puberty she was impossible. And then ... just when it was 'supposed' to turn bad, at about 12, she turned into a delightful human. So who knows - maybe your little one will do something similar.

P

(Note to the reader: P's daughter is so similar to P that they look like twins. Not that I'm saying anything about how P might be similarly impossible, mind you. )

yeah.. D22..

I used to say that the aliens came and took my perfect child from me when she was 2.. and left me with this horror child. And they didn't come back to return her to me till she turned 18.

And D18..

I still tell her if she had been my first.. she would have been my last.

heh heh heh

Loui

Er.... GUYS.... you didn't mention any of this BEFORE!!!
Kids being nightmares for 9-16 YEARS???? HELLO! I didn't sign up for this... I just thought it was a few rough teenage years I'd have to grin and bear...!

We went for our first solo outing today! Only 5 mins up the road to mothers group for an hour. I couldn't go out with them for coffee afterwards though because I wasn't really enough used to being out with bub, but it was a good start.
And bubbus was SO good! I was so proud of her! She threatened to cry several times but I just stuck a boob in her mouth and she shut up. And then she was off the boob for like half an hour and just sitting on my lap looking around. She is SUCH an inquisitive thing! I think the babies across the room were too far away for her to see, but she was looking around and looking at the ones on either side of her - it was so cute! She was the youngest one there, but the most inquisitive - the rest of the babies just fed or slept or lay in their cots or played with their stuff - she just looked around and absorbed everything.



I have a feeling this thread is going to be unbearable for some time while I just boast about my georgeous girl!

Hey.. do you have access to the Rugrats videos/cartoons? I enjoyed those immensely as a parent.. and the kids didn't get half of what was said... Bub is a wee young for it, but for future reference...

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Er.... GUYS.... you didn't mention any of this BEFORE!!!

Du-uh... its a parents dirty little secret that we don't let on until AFTER a child is born. That way we ensure the unsuspecting couple will actually propogate the family...

quote:

I just thought it was a few rough teenage years I'd have to grin and bear...!

HAH! My dad used to say that there should be a law that children are shipped off to school at 5 and not allowed home until they are human. Around 18 or so.

quote:

We went for our first solo outing today!

And bubbus was SO good!

oh YAY for you sweetie! May she continue to be so good in public!! I have stories that would curl your toes quite to the contrary.

quote:

I have a feeling this thread is going to be unbearable for some time while I just boast about my georgeous girl!

You go right ahead and boast... you earned the right!!

Loui

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Du-uh... its a parents dirty little secret that we don't let on until AFTER a child is born

D'oh! This is like the santa claus fantasy - but for adults!!!

Can I just say that my little miss is SUCH a show off. We had to drag her out yesterday for her grandfathers 70th bash and she pretends to be SUCH an angel in public! When she's awake and being 'pass the parcelled' she doesn't scream. She can be handed from person to person and sleep through the whole thing with such an angelic look on her face that people don't believe she even CAN scream (this is a good feature for recruiting babysitters - we've had so many offers - little do they know!). I take her up to another room for some dark and quiet - she screams. People keep irritating and stroking her while she's sleeping (what the HECK is it with everybody having to hold the baby - she's 12 days old for chrissakes!) and she sleeps right through. I make a TINY noise at home and she's up and screaming.

I just don't understand it. But it's impressive. I worried about overstimulation and the rest - but I think maybe I have a party animal baby.

My SIL, who is kinda nuts so take this with a grain of salt, says the little ones get sore from all that passin' around and it takes 'em a few days to recover.

IMO your little one loves the attention and if she wakes without any...uh-oh...
She'll adjust and be a better sleeper in the long run because of it. You'll appreciate it when she's 2. Oh, we didn't mention that yet did we? oops

Oh Mags sounds like you are having a wonderful time! You brag all you want!!!!

The other night I dreamt of OM. I was driving somewhere with H near the train station (which is near my work, near OM's house, and H uses it on occasion too) and I saw OM getting into a car - he'd finally had to get rid of his old car and had bought a new white corolla. I was with H so I couldn't stop or stare. I wondered if OM saw my car - I thought he must have. I was so sad that he'd given up his car - I loved that car. Most of my romantic memories of him were in that car, plus it was such a recognisable car that I'd always be able to know it was him if I saw it. I think before all this happened, back when I looked up to him all those years ago, a large part of what impressed me was that car! And (in the dream) I was sad and thought back on our times together.

Well I'm not sure I really beleive in the significance of dreams, but sometimes I play with what interpretations could be anyway. Maybe him getting rid of his old car represented the severing of ties - that car, to me, had become 'our place'. Maybe the new white car is his new clean life. And I was driving around in my new life with H.
Or maybe I just had indigestion...

HA!

I'm thinking its indigestion...

The dreams are tough. They'll lessen with time. I don't put too much stock in dreams...but maybe this one.. is about the severing ties to your old life.. and going forward with your new one.

oh.. and LGO has a point about the baby. The more she interacts with people, the easier the time she'll have in new situations with alot of people when she gets a bit older. Its just at 12 days old. Well..I'm thinking she was just overstimulated.

Loui

Haha - LGO I was just thinking what your SIL said was funny - and then H's aunt came over and talking about the party she said "K must be sore from all that handing around!". Hehe - so it's not just your SIL...

(sigh) My model child is turning already. Today she's doing a teenager impression - terrible acne (hormone rash apparently) and moody as hell with a totally stuffed idea of day and night. Apparently she likes the song 'Cecilia' though. I suppose at least she's not listening to death metal...