I have begun to read a book that has come highly recommneded to me.
"Why We Love" by Helen Fisher.

I wouold like to start a book discussion, any one for the opportunity?

me-42 yr o
H (WS)-46 yr o
met-feb 2001
M 06-23-01
BabyLuv born 01-24-02

absolute affairs (EA and/or PA) to date-3
two of these are reoccurring for the past three years, one of which is w/ X-W

susupected other affiars- 2

I may have been one of the OW, the one that got pregnant.

You got it already?

____________________________
met 6-2-99, engaged 6-2-00, married 6-2-01, H moves out 3-26-02, H moves home 5-27-02, Recovered

The significant problems we face can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. - Albert Einstein

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting to get a different result. Persistence is great, but you must persist with something that works.

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence. - Albert Einstein

It isn't what is done to us that defines us, it is how we respond to it. - Takola

YaHoo!
YaHoo!

I am loving this book!!!!!!!!

WaHoo!!!!

I am not insane for feeling like I do!!!
I am so relieves, really. If I were to listen to our MC and to my H, I am a whacko .
I am too animated. I need to tone that down.
HAH!
I feel too much. I have a low-self-esteem.
HAH!
I am in love w/ my H and I am living in an unrequited love/marraige.
I feel threatened by two women who have past and present histories of sleeping w/ married men.
HAH!
I am not crazy
I am simply behaving the way nature designed me.
HAH!!!
I am woman, hear me roar, and stay away from MY man!!!!!!!

I am protecting my family and children from two women who have histories of USING children selfishly as accessories, treating them rather cruely when they did not paint a pretty picture in public, will not allow then to grow up and face their responcibilites to themselves and to the world, all for selfish reason. And these women, the same as the above who are messing w/ MY man, are trying to USE my children as pawns.
I am NOT crazy!
I am NOT out of control!
I am not acting out of jeaslously or envy!
I love my children, ALL of them! I will not allow selfish people hurt my children in any way!
I am mommy, hear me roar!!!!!!
SO there!

me-42 yr o
H (WS)-46 yr o
met-feb 2001
M 06-23-01
BabyLuv born 01-24-02

absolute affairs (EA and/or PA) to date-3
two of these are reoccurring for the past three years, one of which is w/ X-W

susupected other affiars- 2

I may have been one of the OW, the one that got pregnant.

Oh
BTW


me-42 yr o
H (WS)-46 yr o
met-feb 2001
M 06-23-01
BabyLuv born 01-24-02

absolute affairs (EA and/or PA) to date-3
two of these are reoccurring for the past three years, one of which is w/ X-W

susupected other affiars- 2

I may have been one of the OW, the one that got pregnant.

I have just gotten to the part of this book where the author is discussing the roles of
dopamines and noreinephrines.

I am very very curious.

Could it be that a person who is more likely to be unfatithful in a relationship has a depleted level of dopamines?
(I am not quite to the details of noreinephrines, so I can not yet ask about it's role in infidelity)

People who have depleted levels of dopamines also have a tendency to have a lower attention span, be less detail orientated, have a difficult time enjoying or being rewarded by emotional stimuli.

Please, correect me and/or get me back on track at any point.

So, are their personality traits that a person who is more likely to be unfaithful in an interpersonal relationship may exhibit that we may not generally associate w/ infidelity?
I.e.
disorganized
low attention span
irratable
listens to less or no music
decreased energy
low testosterone levels

I am reaching I know, but I am curious

I am attaching a link that I found explained how dopamines rather well, even though it is a site to promote a natural dopamine stimulant.
But this person explains it rather well.

dopamine

me-42 yr o
H (WS)-46 yr o
met-feb 2001
M 06-23-01
BabyLuv born 01-24-02

absolute affairs (EA and/or PA) to date-3
two of these are reoccurring for the past three years, one of which is w/ X-W

susupected other affiars- 2

I may have been one of the OW, the one that got pregnant.

Dopamine and norep. are usually present in the lack of serotonin. This can create a euphoria or depression, depending on the circumstance. (A marvel, really.) Both dopamine and norep. are associated with addiction (something I've had confirmed outside of this book).

Norep is a form of adrenaline, and according to Fisher, has some of the same roles as dopamine. Yet, norep. can contribute to increases in testosterone production.

quote:

---

Could it be that a person who is more likely to be unfatithful in a relationship has a depleted level of dopamines?

---

Yes. Dopamine creates a preference. But, increased levels of testosterone can also interfere with faithfulness and attachment, whereas oxytocin (the labor-inducing hormone) and vasopressin are related to increased attachment.

One way Fisher suggests to help increase the dopamine between partners in love is to do novel things together. She says this stimulates dopamine production.

I say, get your altophobic H on a rollercoaster.

Regina
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
reginasymc@aol.com

Live today to its fullest because it's the foundation for tomorrow...and it's all you've got. ~Regina
It begins in the thoughts that pause upon the gratification and go no further. There's extraordinary danger in that. ~Regina
"Can you protect me from yourself?" ~Frodo to Aragorn, LOTR movie

quote:

---

Originally posted by Regina SYMC:
Dopamine and norep. are usually present in the lack of serotonin. This can create a euphoria or depression, depending on the circumstance. (A marvel, really.) Both dopamine and norep. are associated with addiction (something I've had confirmed outside of this book).

I have been looking ot other sources as well and had the same confirmed.

Norep is a form of adrenaline, and according to Fisher, has some of the same roles as dopamine. Yet, norep. can contribute to increases in testosterone production.

oooo now, here is a poser.
Low testosterone MAY run in my H's family.

more research in my future.


[QUOTE] Could it be that a person who is more likely to be unfatithful in a relationship has a depleted level of dopamines?

---

Yes. Dopamine creates a preference. But, increased levels of testosterone can also interfere with faithfulness and attachment, whereas oxytocin (the labor-inducing hormone) and vasopressin are related to increased attachment.

the increase in oxytocin may account for my increased attachemnt for my H.

Gotta look more into vasopressin.

One way Fisher suggests to help increase the dopamine between partners in love is to do novel things together. She says this stimulates dopamine production.

I seem to remember that Fisher also said that dopamone can be increased thur increased sexual stimulation between a couple. The orgasmic release heitghtens the production of dopamine.

I say, get your altophobic H on a rollercoaster.

Regina
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

heh heh heh

I am trusting that you DO NOT mean the type opf rollercoaster that I have beenon for ht past three years, the emotional one
reginasymc@aol.com

me-42 yr o
H (WS)-46 yr o
met-feb 2001
M 06-23-01
BabyLuv born 01-24-02

absolute affairs (EA and/or PA) to date-3
two of these are reoccurring for the past three years, one of which is w/ X-W

susupected other affiars- 2

I may have been one of the OW, the one that got pregnant.

quote:

---

I seem to remember that Fisher also said that dopamone can be increased thur increased sexual stimulation between a couple. The orgasmic release heitghtens the production of dopamine.

---

Not only that but it's a well-known fact that oxytocin is released during orgasm which is why some use it to try to induce labor.

I don't know much about vasopressin, either.

Regina
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
reginasymc@aol.com

Live today to its fullest because it's the foundation for tomorrow...and it's all you've got. ~Regina
It begins in the thoughts that pause upon the gratification and go no further. There's extraordinary danger in that. ~Regina
"Can you protect me from yourself?" ~Frodo to Aragorn, LOTR movie