I have been on a 2 yr journey figuring out what went wrong with my marriage, did my husband have an affair, and can we rebuild our marriage.
My husband admits to having a romantic and sexual attraction to a former coworker. They both hated work and went on to other separate employment.
My husband has stopped contact with her and ignores and informs me of the occasional email or voicemail from her.
He says she views it only as a friendship and if he ignores her it will end so there is no need to send a formal ending or no contact email/letter/ call. He says he no longer has feelings for her and is dedicated to our marriage.
This site looks great and I think it will help me a lot in understanding how to move forward.
I am in so much pain over this I needed some guidance. Thank you!!

Hello, BeachRose and glad you found your way here. I'm certain you're in a lot of pain. We've all been there in one way or another and we understand.

Let me ask you a few questions:

How long have you been married? Any children? Ages?

You speak of a 2-year journey. What happened 2 years ago? Was that when you discovered the attraction between your H and the co-worker? How was that discovery made? Did you find out or did he admit to it openly?

Now, some deeper questions: does your H and this woman have ANY contact whatsoever? Keep in mind he might (sorry!) be hiding such contact. But you need to ask yourself (and him) if there is contact, the frequency, the type (vmail, email, phone, in person, etc.). Do they work in a field that will have their paths cross professionally? Does the woman know he was attracted to her?

Here's the bottom line: your H has admitted that there was an attraction there. Once that attraction exists, it is difficult to control, very difficult.

Look at it this way: if you had a teenage child who got in trouble with underage drinking, would you permit that child to stay in contact with those that were still indulging or to go to events where the drinking was tolerated? The same scenario must come into play in terms of building protection for your marriage, and your H must be a willing participant.

He describes this as a "friendship" - well, that is dangerous in itself. If he truly wishes to ignore her, would he be willing to block her email and get a new phone number that she cannot get?

Sweetie, I am so sorry you are where you are. The weekends are kinda slow here and the entire board has been a bit quiet of late, but I check in when I can.

Glad you found your way here and I'll be looking forward to hearing more about your situation.

Hugs to you.