ROUGH WEEK

It's been a bad week on the healing-front. I can see the reasons for PP more clearly now than I ever have. But honestly, I think it's too late.

H has been talking about "doing something" and how unfair all this is to me since I'm waiting for his decision. Pretty sure his choice will be to divorce. Maybe not b/c it's what he wants, but b/c he feels it's what will be best for me-- I can move on with my life. I know he's sees that as his way of protecting me-- releasing me from the pain I'm in. I wonder if he's stopped to think about the pain that would cause. Not only to me, but to him and the kids.

When I say "too late"-- I know I could go into it for me and my healing. But too late to save my H and I's marriage. At least that's how I feel right at this particular moment. The little SYMC voice I have in my head now says that's wrong, don't try to guess the future. Those mean ole CH's are stomping me right now though.

He's supposed to come here tomorrow to take the pier out of the water. I had been looking foward to that. Now... not so much.