I found my husband in bed with his long term co-worker of 10 yrs and she has become a close family friend. My husband is devastated that he has ruined our two families and swears he wants to save our marriage. However, when I want to talk about it, he gets frustrated because he says he is just trying to function and I keep reminding him of how much of a screw up he is. I can't help but feel like he is pushing it under the carpet and expects us to go on.

Hi.Me again. After you are here awhile, you will realize that most WS's act the same. They would like to pretend that nothing happened and just go on with life.

However this will not be good for the marriage. They have no idea how devastating the whole thing is for the BS.

Now here is the thing that will be hard for you. When you talk to him you need to be calm, and not be disrespectful, or have screaming fits. It is extremely hard to do, but will help your marriage in the long run.

It will not seem fair that you have to do so much work at first, but is necessary. When you are going crazy, come here and vent. We have been through the heartache and will understand like no one else. HUGS to you from California.

You need to get a professional involved on a regular basis, ASAP. Give Penny a call.

Have you talked to OW's H? What does he say?

I'm very very sorry you are going through this.